Billie Eilish’s nonchalant coming out brought up the concept for many people. During an interview with Variety, the singer mentioned she was attracted to women and the public went crazy. 

   Eilish later admitted that she had no intention of having a big coming out and that she assumed everyone knew. 

   “Why can’t we just exist,” Eilish told Variety. 

   Originally, coming out was the difficult decision to stop hiding your true self. However, 19.7% of Gen Z and 11.2% of millennials identify as LGBTQ+, according to 2022 Gallup telephone surveys. With that much of the population identifying as Queer, the need to hide becomes less and less.

   I never had an official coming out to my immediate family. They pretty much already knew, and I just confirmed their assumptions. With my extended family, however, they’re a lot more conservative and a lot less supportive, so I’ve never felt the need to tell them. 

   Even though my unsupporting family usually requires a coming out, I don’t feel like I owe them that. At the end of the day coming out feels othering and unnecessary. My brother will never have to tell my grandma that he likes women. Why am I any different? 

   In the media and pop culture, coming out seems like this one big event in a Queer person’s life, but that’s not always the reality. You will always be meeting new people to come out to. Word doesn’t spread like wildfire in real life.

   While I hope one day Queerness will be so normalized that no one has to go through a big coming out, the concept will never completely go away. There will always be people interested in your identity, and that’s okay.

   Coming out isn’t the right choice for everyone, but coming out can be big or small. There are no rules. A party is a great option to let a lot of people know but there is no shame in only telling a close friend.

   Someone’s identity isn’t set in stone after coming out either. It’s okay for someone to choose a new label that makes them feel more like themself, and it doesn’t make them any less queer.

   There is no right way to come out and no one gets to dictate another person’s story.